Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2oo8 - thnk god its over

2oo8 was fine - dnt get meeh wrong. I experienced things that changed me as a person & grew up. but honestly ; I'm so ready for 2oo9 - like this is MY YEAR - I'll be LEGAL;senior PROM;graduation;college-finally gettin' away from DURHAM . sht, I'm so excited. like - getting out of durham- will be one of the most important things for me. durham is okay ; but I feel, too many things have happened here that are bad ; tht I need a new location [ Q U E E N CITY] for a new start. New people ; new everything (: (:. & o8 - friend wise. I realized a lot. I realized who my [REAL] friends are & who is just there to be there or waste my time ; or find out information- to just run & open there mouth. & I realized the sht tht happens in the past ; sometime yu cnt just focus on sht tht happened in the past ; sometimes yu gotta let go & forgive & forget & I learned to do that this year & learned that people did that to me & let me bak in there life ; even tho I made BAD decisions from the past & they still accept me.
in o8 ; I think my mom finally realized that I'm growing up & I think she understood that thoughtout this year. We had a good relationship this year unlike the years before which was hard for us. We grew a dtronger connection & I was about to tlk to her about personal stuff tht affected me. Which I loved.
& growing with my mom ; made me realize how much my dad had missed in my life & how he hasn't done any fckn thing for meeh. so this year I finally had the courage to lett'em know. which felt good to do, even tho it left him speechless ; at least I got the sht off my chest.
all in all o8 was a good year.

-but o9 is most def going to be SO much BETTER.

-goodbye o8;hello o9
happy new year.
-lc* (:

Monday, December 29, 2008

[good sht]

sht; i've heard em all.
i've had sht talked about me
[ i mean whu hasn't]
but today; i was listening
to nicki minaj & gucci - [love em both]
& i was listening to slumber party -changed my status
to ;

L.c CarteR.; welcome to my private party - wen yu feeling [ f r e a k y ] we can have a slumber partyy. pussy is tighter then a choker-got yu smiling like the joker.

i kidd yu not- less then 5 min. later;
-EIGHT new msg.
-SIX new txts.
-THREE chats.

[funny sht]-FOUR of the fcbk msgs. were from niqqas CLEARLY in a relationship.
THREE of the txt; niqqas had a girlfrann.
& the chats; all niqqas - i've NEVER seen nor tlk'd to in my lifee.

so i was ready to see wht WEAK ass game i was about to see.

[no real names will be used ; just for the sake of these females that think there man is soo in love]

John -fcbk niqqa #1 -

John-so baby, when are you coming to see me?

LC-uh, i didn't know i was suppose to come see you.

John-yes, so you can have me looking like the joker.

LC-no response.

Jack txt niqqa #2-

Jack-nice status


Jack-whats up with it?

LC-excatly what it says.

Jack-iight well i'm bout to come over.

LC-don't think your girl would like that.

Jack-i don't think your boyfriend would either.

LC-lol; i'm single now.

Jack-if you lettin me come over, ill be single to.

LC-whatta lie

Jack-if you serious i'm serious.

LC-no response.

-dnt feel like writin' thee rest.

remind yu- these dudes have girlfriends. i wasn't being a hoe & trying to "take their man" . I simply changed my fcbk status. yes, i admit, it was kinda raunchy; but sht- do i look like i care?

its funny how girls say --oh, she a hoe. she's tryna take my man.

about 99.1% of the niqqas that i know; cheat on their "wifee".

& yes; sometimes it is a hoe, that wants your man.

but in my case-not being cocky : niqqas just wnt to fck me. i don't "come-on" to them or anything.

maybe its my boobs (: but either way; due to recent situations; i just wnted to vent about niqqas in relationships. & how girls are so blind sided to cheating.



love him (:

usher did good with this.

checkk it outtt. (:


Sunday, December 28, 2008

broken-hearted grl.

once again.once again.once again.

seven weeks.
countless hours on the phone.
txt msgn till my fingers hurt.
trying to be with a different type of dude.
thinking everything would just be perfect.
not following my gut feeling about everything- before it got too serious.
telling yu I loved yu & acutally having feeling behind it.
opening up my heart once again ; just for it to be ripped apart once again.once again.once again.
being nothin' but honest with even when I knew that it would hurt.
but still; keeping my word to tell yu the truth.
letting yu get in my mind & fill my head with thoughts of yu acutally being different : but endin up to be just the same.
seven weeks.

thas all it took to change meeh back into the mindframe; niqqas aint shit.

usually, I'll tell wht happened ; but there is no need this time, because this time...the story ended.

*single* lc):

dead beat!

so this is my love . pjay (:
this is my half brother from my stupid fathers side.
yea i knw; he's a lil hottie.
but it fckn sucks tht my "father" is such a ass; because i never get to see my
bro like i want to. even tho he lives it FLA; it kills meeh tht wen i go dwn there; i wont
be seein' him because my father doesn't know how to behave & act like a father.
ughh ! like a few weeks ago we got into this big thing over fckn MYSPACE about how he isn't a good father & sht; & tell meeh why this niqqa deleted meeh; i sent him this HEART FELT
message & instead of being a man; he didnt even respond. how fckn rude ;
then he has the NERVE to call madre & ask her what my issue was?
my issue-- yur a fckn low life: who doesn't PROVIDE for the children that he HELP produce.
thts my ISSUE !
so yeah; most fathers - [ suck ass ]
--the end.
-lc (:

-love this (:

She's starin' at me
I'm sittin', wonderin' what she's thinkin'
Nobody's talkin' 'cause talkin' just turns into screamin'
And now is i'm yellin' over her, she's yellin' over me
All that that means
is neither of us is listening
[and what's even worse]
that we don't even remember why were fighting.

So both of us are mad for...

Nothin' [fighting for]
Nothin' [crying for]
Nothin' [whooaaa]
But we wont let it go for nothin'
[no not for]
This should be nothin' to a love like what we got
Ohhh baby...

I know sometimes it's gonna rain
but baby, can we make up now
'cause I can't sleep through the pain

[can't sleep through the pain].

Girl, i don't wanna go to bed
[mad at you]
And i don't want you to go to bed
[mad at me]
No, i don't wanna go to bed
[mad at you]
And i don't want you to go to bed
[mad at me]
Ohhh no no no...

And it gets me upset, girl
when your constantly accusing.
[askin' questions like you've already known]
We're fighting this war, baby
when both of us are losing
[This ain't the way that love is supposed to go].

[what happened to workin' it out]
We've fall into this place
where you ain't backin' down and i ain't backin' down
so what the hell do we do now...

It's all for..

Nothin' [fighting for]
Nothin' [crying for]
Nothin' [whooaaa]
but we won't let it go for
[no not for]
This should be nothin' to a love like what we got
Ohhh baby...

I know sometimes it's gonna rain
but baby, can we make up now
'cause I can't sleep through the pain

[can't sleep through the pain].

Girl, i don't wanna go to bed
[mad at you]
And i don't want you to go to bed
[mad at me]
No, i don't wanna go to bed
[mad at you]
And i don't want you to go to bed
[mad at me]
Ohhh no no no...

Oh, baby this love ain't gonna be perfect
[perfect, perfect, ohh ohh]
and just how good it's gonna be
we can fuss and we can fightlong as everythings allright between us...
before we go to sleep.

Baby, we're gonna be happy.

Baby I know sometimes it's gonna rain
but baby, can we make up now
'cause I can't sleep through the pain
[can't sleep through the pain].

Girl, i don't wanna go to bed
[mad at you]
And i don't want you to go to bed
[mad at me]
No, i don't wanna go to bed
[mad at you]
And i don't want you to go to bed
[mad at me]
Ohhh no no no...

Saturday, December 27, 2008


ugh ; ya knw something I hate-

I [hate] people tht dnt have there own originality. like people tht act as if they dnt have a mind for themselves. someone whu cnt make up at least 5 words to make a complete sentence of there own. there own thoughts or idea. they have to j a c k someone elses. I mean like if I take something ; its usually from an artist & I make it my own by either change the appearence or words or the way in whic its typed ; but some people dnt even do that. & it just bother meeh.

& also people in general bother meeh. I honestly dnt even like tht many people: as is. but dumb ass people just make my hate for people so much worse.

like ; ugh ! I sometimes wish - I could simply re-program certain people ; so there mind would then be legit. bc I swear, most the people walking around dnt have a fckn clue to there purpose is in life.

sht - I know mine tho.
so fckk the rest .


the good & the bad

after all of last nite issues ; i thought tht seeing my bf or whatever he is: would be good for us. so he came over & whtnot & the first time he was here; shit was cool. he said I was acting funny; but thts normal. so then he left to go get his hair cut.
then he came back to the house & we were just chilling. sht was cool & then I asked to see his phone ; because I never get to see it. so he gave it to meeh , no hesitation or anything. so I try to look at his address book - sht is locked ; recent calls - sht is also locked ; his pictures - shts ALSO locked ; & txt msgs - of course locked. so I asked if he would unlock them & he says no. so of course, with guys ; they are always hiding something if sht is locked ; so I get pissed;& then I see him unlock the sht & he deletes every txt msg. So I get weven more pissed ; then tht destoyed the whole mood so hinm & his cousin left to go to the mall.

so as he left ; of course we txt'd & he told me that I coulda seen it & he's not hiding anything. so I asked why delete sht if yur not hiding anything & he says ; it makes my phone go slow. niqqa, yu won't even worried about yur fckn fone going slow, until I asked for yu to unlock it. so I said ; I thought yu could come up with somethin better then that & he says okay well yu can see it wen I come back.

so niqqa comes back & I ask for him to unlock it & he doesn't even unlock the sht. all he did was unlock the msgs ` which were previously deleted&only had shit from meeh. ughhh !

- I just dnt know wht to do with this sht anymore. I hate people tht say one thing then end up doin another. It just is pointless...

say wht the fck yu mean ; or dnt say the sht at all. because in the end ; it just leaves meeh pissed the fck off even more.


late nite fiqhts

so its fckn 6:29 AM - && I cannot go to sleep.

reason ?? - my bf & I just got into a hugh arguement over a video game .

explain - sure why not ..

foreshadowing ; I have a tendency to ALWAYS go to bed really early lately . so wen me & the bf are tlkn & he'll have to like do something quicky like within 5 min. he'll call me back & I'll be knocked out. it really drives him crazy ; but hey I have no control over it.
-fast foward ; so tonight I told my bf, "bae we are gonna stay up late" & he said no je wasn't... but I knew he would. so around 3:00 somethin he told me he was going to call me back in about 15 min. so he could go play a game of tennis on the wii with the family, before he got in bed. so I said okay, he asked me to stay up & I said okay, but if I dnt answer make sure yu call again bc most likely I'll be on the internet on my fone. soooo, idntknw when I txt'd him but I told him to call me & I got no response & it was clearly longer then 15 min. & then, o changed my fcbk status to something sexual & this niqqa commented & said "" & I replied under the status "call meeh". still [NO P H O N E call]; so then my status said pissed the fck off & I finally got a fone call. so of course ; the btch in me came out & took over. he said he called me 15 later, but my fone went to voicemail; so he says he thought I was sleep ; so he said he planned on tryin in another 15 : but he waited more like gotdamn 45. so I was pissed & he said "I'm sorry" but like I was still mad bc I usually go to sleep within about 5 mins. But i fckn stayed up & all I get is a "I'm sorry".

then later into the whole fckn situation ; he says ; if yur going to act like this & make this sht such a big deal: maybe we shouldn't be together. -- really ? I'm like did this niqqa really just say tht shit ? so of course I took the sht to the heart & left his ass on fcbk. sooo yeah, later we txt'd & he said tht he was sorry & such , but still . he just doesn't understand the way tht I feel wen we get into this fckn arguements. ughhh I just dnt get how everythinfg can be so perfect ; then just get so fck'd up.

well peace.


Thursday, December 25, 2008

in lovee

sooo its been 6 weeks with my bf. & today; like ten minutes ago, I realized that I honestly love him. Like I'm the kinda girl that tries to front about shit, and like say well he cool & shit. Or I might tell the guy I love em & not really mean it, which I'll admit, thas wut I did in the beginning of this relationship, but now... I can honestly say I'm in love. like my bf is truly the best. I know I do some pretty fucked up shit, like really fucked up, like kiss other people, and be in fcbk relationships with other niqqas, but through all my stupid shit, he stands by me. & although he told me before he believed on getting even, he hasn't done anything to get back at me. he's all the things I want in a boyfriend & makes me feel so good about myself & makes me happy. & these otha niqqas that try to "get with me" dnt even come close to where my babee is. okay okay - im done with the lovey dovey shit....

just know im in loveeeee (:



sooo its christmas day & the pain is gettin worse! but I'm stayin drugged up so its all good. but tell meeh why its hot damn 12:41 pm & my "boyfriend" hasn't even told me meery christmas. pretty fcked up don't ya think. he made a big deal about seeing me yesterday & this niqqa hasn't even call me. the fck ?

oh well. peace.


so, my bf has an issue because he thinks that I'm not getting him anything for christmas; which is NOT TRUE ; I just haven't had the time or the knowing of what the hell to get him. Then he gets mad because I told him I didn't wnt to see him today or tomorrow. I rather see him when I can acutally take a shower and walk a little & look a tad bit more presentable. This is one issue that I see we have in our relationship. Wen sht doesn't go the way that he wnts it to go, the whole mood of our relationship changes for the rest of the day. For example, we were on the phone & I told him that my mother wasn't able to get his stuff bc the mall close at 6 & she didn't get home from wrk until after that. Then the rest of the covo was dead silent. & then he changed his facebook stat; which was clearly about me. But ya know what oh well. He can stay in the pissy mood & I'm not even gonna care bc 1. I had sugery YESTERDAY & I'm n a lot of fckn pain ; so I dnt have time to worry if I'm being a bad girlfriend. Because I know I'm getting him something , so it shouldn't matter wen he gets it. And 2, he should know I'm getting him something & understand that I dnt wnt nobody visiting meeh wen I'm like this.

okay okay- just had to vent .

gon' bck to bed. (:

Wednesday, December 24, 2008


sooo, I had surgery yesterday & I had a nerve block for the first 12 hrs. Which means I couldn't feel ANY pain. but now, that dumb nerve block wore off & I can feel everything. ! shit hurts like a btch & now I'm irrated like shit with everyone about everything. & nobody know the pain I'm feeling. then I can hardly wlk so I'm just laid up in my bed. With nothing to fucking do. Its not a good way to spend christmas or the new year at all. & the medicine I'm taking puts me right to sleep so ya know all I do it sleep and wake up, txt a lil & go back to sleep. Not fun at all. well I'm fallin asleep as I write this - so toodles

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

random thought

sometime I feel like I'm the only person that understands the way I feel, I feel I'll never find someone whu feels the same way I feel. Its like I have everything I want & everything I need, but something is missing. I'm not sure wut it is. But I know within my life, a little piece is missing.

Monday, December 22, 2008

soooooo, i dnt think i'm good with this blog sht, because i NEVER have time to get on here & update this shit. but christmas break is FINALLY here. but i have to get fckn surgery tomorrow which is really gonna suck, because i won't be able to do sht else for the rest of break. but oh well, at least i'll be healed. (:

christmas is right around the damn corner & i'm really not feeling it. i still haven't gotten my babees' gifts. & haven't even gotten my btches shit & fam shit. so i'm really slackin' with the holidays. -but oh fckn well.

let's see; the past three weekends, i've been so busy with partying.. i'm not usually much of a partying person, but shit, i've been having the time of my life lately. i realized i'm a senior , might as well live it up with people tht i prolly won't be seeing next year around this time.

my main btch got into unc-g & ecu recently, i'm so proud of her (:
i'm just ready to get to charlotte and exploreeee. hopefully she'll be near me at unc-c.

well thats all for now.

-;lc carter. (:

Thursday, December 11, 2008


sooo; on the 11, i had fuckn c o u r t , which wasn't all that {b a d]*.
there was a pretty good judge who was letting people off mad easy & sht, so i thought; i'll be fckn lucky as shit if i go ahead & get it over with. gotdamn we got there at fckn 9 and i didnt get called to the stand til gotdamn 11:15- p i s s e d like shit. get up there; & tell meeh why, my case got fckn CONTINUED again.

then, dec.11, was me & my bae's 1 month, & i ddnt even see him. which, i should be USE TO because i N E V E R, but its okay. i'm trying my best in this relationship.

thas all for now.


;allow meeh to introduce myself

lc.carter is wht I hear 'em whisperinq. senior/class of 2009. chill type. so over [highschool] && childish drama sht. ready to launch & start something new. time to open new chapters in life. lookinq foward to college, expressinq myself, findinq who I am. beinq by myself, facinq life. seems like im an independent woman, but I have a siqificant other. been toqether [one month] ; miqht be somethinq serious; but sht, we all know how tht qoes. yu live and yu learn not to [expect] much from people: thas how yu end up fool of disappointments. so I'm qoinq with the f l o w of life && takinq it as it comes to meeh.

first bloqq; still wrkinq this sht out.