Thursday, January 29, 2009


kinda personal - but oh well. (:

i think i'm broken.
--whatcha mean broken?
broken in a sense that - if i love you - or maybe in love with you ... kissing me is all your gonna get.
--WHAT ? that makes no sense.
alritee alritee ; i'll explain - i'll explain. (:

so ; starting my sexual ... beginnings - my first was some guy that to this day still doesn't mean shit to me. niqqa was sexy as fuck. like the sexiest niqqa i've fcked with- EVER, but us & a relationship; i knew it would never work.

second niqqa - i knew when i first started talkin to him - damn - i could see myself with him . but once we got to talkin & getting to know each other - i seen shit - he's not even my type. we agreed on only one thing which is sex. although he didn't know too much & neither did i, we learned from each other.

the two other guys - one of em used game. i knew it was game ; but i fell for it. i knew that shit wasn't going to work between us. & i figured that if i played along like a dumb btch-- it'd make him feel better & it did. he thought he had me with all the ,"baby, i miss you" or the " your the only one i want & were going to be together" BULLSHIT. but i'm smart - & i was physically attracted to him ... so hey - shit got popping. in the process of messing with him - i lost someone. [[no details]]
then the other guy-- waste of time.

but none of these guys - i was in love with / or had any kinda relationship feelings for.
& the people that i'm in relationships with or "love" - i never give them that chance. i don't know why but thats just how it goes.


is that the right way to describe whatever this is? or is it i haven't found the right one to "love" to give the chance too?
i've shared this with one niqqa i thought i "loved"- & he was really shocked & was glad that i told him that because he got insight to the way i see things & why i don't do shit with him. he seemed to have no problems. he was accepting of it.

at the end of the day - it seems like niqqas can do what they want or who ever they want ... & not get judged by who- or - how many btches they fck. when girls have the "niqqa mentality" - & say they fck mad niqqas - they are a hoe , whore, slut, & other names. i dnt get why there is such a issue. when guys do something is ok - but if a female did the same thing its wrong on her part. my friend has been having this issue in here life & that sht bothers us. & different guys give us there pros & cons about the whole situation. basically niqqas judge btches - but btches aren't suppose to judge a niqqa.

all of it is stupid to me - but i choose NOT to do shit with people. unless we've had past experiences- i'm not fckin with cha.

& if your reading this & your surprised -- guess what? its all the REAL facts. so whatever the FCK you've heard - gon ahead & smack the lying BTCH tht told cha. (:

signed ;



Mikey said...

l.c , you could possibly be one of the realest girls I know.
I too get upset abt the fact tht girls get called hoes and sht if we fckin with a bunch of dudes, but when niggas do the same, they get their props. the fck? kinds sht is tht? lol

LC said...

lol - aw thanks mikeyy. i just try to keep the shit real as hell. but yeah - that shit is mind boggling to me. but aye - its one of those things i'll never understand.

carmen said...

u kno wat even though weve our bad expreinces and storms and shit i gotta admit u kept it real on thi shit and i respect you for bein honest with urself and to the world..its like we always may not b abale to correct our problems or issues as fast or easy as we wuld like but atleats any issues u have or ill ways that you have about urself..atleats u recognize them instead or remaing in denial like other girls or ppl shit

LC said...

thanks carmen - thats means alot coming from you. & yeah - i've changed my ways from the person that you first met. i keep it real as hell. (:

@ kidd aBoVe $tAnDaRdS said...

well its good to kno that your growing and maturing....change is always good.....cuz im sure eventually u will find many answers and solutions to the problems u face....

[$ H A R O N A] said...

oh my gosh girl yes! double standards. dudes can fuck around with however many people they want and then we do the same and we are all types of bitches, hoes, and sluts. well dammit they are too in my book.

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

Change is always good.

precia'10 said...

so i know all about this situation first hand...its called hevin sex with no emotion cause the fear tht the one u love will leave u after u give it to if u do it with a guy who means nothing u have no emotional attachment to him so to hell if thats all he that right there is some true facts and that comes straight from the heart