its BARBIE, BITCH .

i fucks with nicki minaj . & this shoot is hot .

NICKI MINAJ RIGHT ON! BARBIE SHOOT SNEAK PEAK from Fatima B on Vimeo.

follow your heart

lately , if you follow me on twitter , you've witnessed my experience's with relationships & such . you've seen that i have a "friend" that i'm ... complicated with . people always try to offer advice , & i'm thankful for it , but most of the time its , "follow your heart, listen to your heart" . ya know the lovey dovey type shit .

but i hate that "follow your heart" bullshit . honestly , i see my heart as a organ . it has no feeling nor emotion . all that is in your head. you are made to believe that your heart is an actual part of your emotions & that's where you feel pain. to me , its something that keeps you alive . it doesn't declare your feelings, emotions, nothing .

when people tell me to follow my heart, i feel like i'm doing opposite of what i think i should do . i'm going against the logic of my brain & using my heart as the excuse of why i'm making a decision.

my mind is what is telling me that he's no good for me , while my "heart" is waiting him to stay & everything to work out . really meaning , i know that the RIGHT thing to do is just LET GO . & my lonely side is saying, "LC you don't want to be alone, so stick it out & follow your "heart" & put up with the shit.

i don't believe in "following my heart" .


i KNOW what the right thing to do is, but for some reason, i CANNOT bring myself to make the right decision . instead i'm fighting myself to just let this shit slide. what to do what to do ?

shit , i don't even know .
guess i won't do anything until i come to a final conclusion . wish me well thanks.

Victim of Chimp Attack

Charla Nash, 56, was attacked by her friends pet Chimp. She lost her eyes, eye lids, hands , lips, & tongue.

Below the video is the link so you can see her without her vial .

http://www.ecanadanow.com/curiosity/2009/11/14/chimpanzee-attack-victim-charla-nash-reveals-face-on-oprah-update-photo/

he's back . CRAWL - chris brown

he's backkkk, & i love the new joint.

funny skit

this is funny . i'm going innnnnnn.

Melanie Fiona - "Bang Bang" Music Video

this song is okay, it hasn't grown on me yet.

Tyra has son ugllyyy feet lol.

her ugly ass feet . not a good look .

NEW video - Beyonce FT. Lady GaGa

I like it . Its sexyyy . lol.

11.11.09

11.11.09


what to say ?


it was fun while it lasted?

i hate you!

fuck you !

i love you bruh .

idk how i feel today .
i don't know where my feelings stand with him, or how he feels.
he let me go & now i'm where i wanted to be , but i realized that where i want to be isn't comparing to the chemistry i had where i was. confusing , yes !

am i happy ?

- yes.

do i miss him ?

- yes, all the time .


"Damn we used to kick it
Now we disconnected
I thought we was different
But we ain't no exception
Late night texts
Keep us arguing
Used to be running through my mind
Now you're jogging
Now you're just walking
And footsteps lightly
Until they start to fade away
And all I hear is silence
But it ain't here never after no attachment
Used to be amazing
Don't know how that happened
Used to say I love her
And I would really mean it
Now I'm sitting thinking
Trying to comprehend the meaning"

the last thing that we talked about was being at two different places in life right now . i know that was a real reason why our relationship was suffering , but i didn't want to lose you even though that was an issue.

we've had problems since the beginning & we worked through almost all of them, or we didn't discuss em, & we just let em ride. but i think we gotta put our attitudes to the side & TALK about shit . our feelings , everything. at least that's what i want. so even if we don't have a relationship, we still have a healthy friendship.

i'm not really sure how he feels, but this day was special to me . . . & i hope it's still special to him.

-lc carteR.

must taste real good .

I shouldn't address the bullshit, but I want to anyways . lol.

- let me explain something to people.

only about 2 people in the WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD know my story as of now . those TWO people, have been eye witnesses to the events that make the life the way it is . & those TWO people are the only people that understand my decisions & my personality . so if you aren't those TWO people, you shouldn't have SHIT ELSE TO SAY ABOUT ME . or my LIFE .

people always are focused on the NEGATIVE aspects of my life that they forget, I'm not some non-goal oriented female. i have goals & i know what i need to do to achieve them & i also know that i have to get other stuff together before i begin fulfilling those goal. I've had a shit load of stuff happening since my 9th grade year in high school. & people fail to realize, i NEVER once until this year, expressed my emotions & situation to anyone that wasn't apart of it . i NEVER opened up completely to anyone. i ALWAYS maintained like everything was fine. but now i realize, I'm only tricking myself. shit doesn't get better if you don't address it . that's how change comes along .

so for the people that STILL feel the need to talk about my life, I'll just keep it in my mind, that your upset that your life is so BORING that you had to MAKE UP YOUR WHOLE LIFE to get play in any body's book. at least my life is the TRUTH . I'm a REAL bitch, that is doing REAL shit & is having REAL issues. you just FAKE your life . grow up .

-LC ( :

randommmmmmmmmmmmmm

random ass thoughts again .

- people always wonder why i say i hate people, or why i don't trust people & shit like that .

its because of the experience's i've had with people i've encountered . the stupid, fucked up , mentally retarded nigga's i've met. THAT'S WHY . no one seems to be real now-a-days. even people that have been what i thought , "best friends" have been fuckers that have done some stupid shit . i know that i can't blame those FUCKERS for the shit all the time, but if 96% of the people that have appeared in my life have been like that , shit there is a fucking problem .

people don't seem to understand friendship . they don't understand its more then just hanging out, talking on the phone, and chilling. its more about loyalty , respect, trust, responsibility, & realness. they've been blindsided to all of these things because the materialistic shit takes over . no one understands how to be honest with one another. no one understands the difference between a friendship & a relationship . a relationship holds more strength between two people then a friendship. although both are important.

i just don't understand how someone that was so close to me, could hurt me so much . not understanding that words are always remember & never forgotten. but in the end, that's there problem not mine. ima still do me & be me regardless. so its there loss.

thoughts.

i wish there was a pill that could make love go away .

everything would be so much better.

i could pop a pill & it will all be over.

like it never existed , never happened, nothing.

then i could forget the times we had fun & the times you made me want to murder you .

the moments we laugh & the times you had me on the verge of tears.

the times we were together & the time i caught you with someone else.

all the pain & emotional thoughts wouldn't exist.

what we had was something i never wanted to forget,

but since things are the way they are, i thinks its the perfect fix.

i would say don't take it personal, but then again,

it is personal , so listen & take it how it is.

i do what you do in reverse of when you do it to me.

so if you don't like it , next time think before you plan to just hurt me again.

[[ random thoughts right now . ]]

venting pt.1

this is a very random post, but i swear , anything i say , is straight from my heart. i might sound rude, selfish, whatever you want to call it . but these are my feelings & thoughts right now.

these past few months i've been through alot of shit with these people that call/called themselves friends. i've had disagreements, arguements, and even fights. & throughout all of it, i found out who was REAL & who was FAKE . the fake had been eliminated. or at least i thought they had.

me personally , if you know me . know me outside of my blogs, facebook, twitter, etc. you know how i think and how i feel about situations that take place within friendships. you know that i will be direct with you when there is a problem, issues, complainant , whatever the case may be . you also know , if you are one of my REAL friends, that has been with me from the beginning since our friendship, you know that nothing would ever come between that shit .

so im stuck thinking , how is this shit, coming in between it .

& what kills me is , i'm titled the "bad influence" .

when CLEARLY , the same shit you doing now, you did BEFORE you met me. so, i'm not the reason , nor the blame for the shit that YOU do . i don't ever tell you that you have to be involved in any of the activities that surround us .

i guess we are two different people that handle shit two different ways.

boyfriend/girlfriend -- #fail.

ugh . i'm so confused.

like what the fuckkk?

i gotta good guy right in front of me , but i feel that we aren't compatible .
[which isn't good]
then i THOUGHT i had someone else in my life, but they ended up to be a lie.
[which isn't good for me either]
& of course i have other niggas in my life, but i just don't want any of them.

i know the solution to my problem is to just be single. but i don't want to just be single. like i want something. but i don't just want SOMETHING. i want something real. lol.

& then i think about on the person that i had a REAL relationship with & how stupid i acted throughout the whole relationship, which was like a dumb bitch. but ya'know i guess it's a live in you learn kinda thing.

on the flip side, i don't even think if i was presented with the opportunity for a relationship i would take advantage of it. its like the term "in a relationship, boyfriend, and girlfriend" have all lost meaning. ALL of the niggas that i know , & i know ALOT of niggas, they've all cheated in some sort of way . people have different meaning's of cheating. but when i say "in some sort of way" - they have cheated physically. being an exchange of kisses , from fucking -- they have cheated. not saying i'm perfect because although i was in a relationship for about nine month's, i've cheated. it's not a good thing & i know i should do unto others, as i'd like done to me, but i did it . so i can't sit here & talk like its the worst thing ever, because i've done it. but i don't want that anymore. this is how i'm looking at it, if i cheat then i'm not happy in my relationship. one reason i'm no longer in it. not being satisfied play's a major part. & honestly , my ex & I had NOTHING in common. i've became a person that likes to have fun, go out, etc. & that's not really him. which becomes a problem on the weekend & stuff. but aye, its a live & you learn experience. & until this weekend, i realized how much cheating & lying effect a relationship. & i realized that this weekend. & i wasn't even in a relationship with the person, it was more of a understanding that i guess he didn't understand. but oh well.

hopefully since my ex & i are taking 6mnths-1yr on break. i guess i'll find my way . prolly my way to realizing that he'd nvr do anything to hurt me & i should be with him. but ya know that if you let something go & it comes back it mean's so much more.

guess we'll see what happens.

--& i'm out .

LC CarteR

nickiminaj-itty bitty piggy VIDEO.

wifee ( : she's a bad btch .

Chris Brown on Larry King

Chris Brown will airing Wednesday at 9 P.M. on Larry King. From the clips of this interview, it will be pretty interesting to hear his views & comments on what really happened between him & Rihanna. I'm ready to see the FULL interview.

introducing -- TRAY DA TRUTH*

CHECK HIM OUT !
This is one of DA TRUTH'S latest songs. You can check out more of his music at http://www.myspace.com/yoboitruth. & also add him on facebook - http://www.facebook.com/changedagame. You'll def. be hearing more of him . (:

Mary J. & Drake Video

i love drake point blank period.& this is a dope song.

Drake & Trey Songz - Successful Pt 2 Video

This video was much better then Drake's two previous videos. & Trey Songz did his thing .

@souljaboytellem

yes, I'll admit, i fuck with soulja boy. what can i say , his shit a lil catchy . i mean i KNOW it's not REAL hip-hop. but its funny & makes me laugh. you can tell, he's tryna step up his flow. but umm, check out his lil video for "Successful" .

oh yeah ... & he look's niiiice in the vid. ( :

PSA * texting & driving. . .

This commercial has been the topic of discussion recently for the graphic nature of the video. I agree , it is rather graphic, but it does get the point across , not to text & drive. Not saying , oh - i'm going to stop texting & driving, maybe i'll just be a bit more cautious . lol. no but seriously- be careful .
I'm defentily not sure about showing it on television. The dead baby & the little girl or boy with dead parents in the front seat is a little much for america to handle. & the blood & stuff. I think, since it's already made, it should just be a PSA for the internet.

so folks. REMEMBER - no texting & driving.

-LC

letter to HER .

the pain I endure cannot be explained nor measured by words. you have to live the life i lead to even begin to understand. do the things I've had to do to fully understand the level of tolerance I once had. the love i once felt , feels as if its disappeared & never existed from the beginning. if you claim to love someone so much, why do you actions come out as a fight against me? if the love you have for me is as strong as you say it is, why is it a constant struggle for you to do the right thing? all the apolgizes seem like a waste of my time. saying one thing, then doing another, is a waste of my time. just to turn around and be disappointed again, i don't think i can do it. i really want to have faith and believe that things will be different this time, but sadly , my heart won't allow it. maybe in the future if things come out different, i can start to have faith, but until then, i'm left in this broken condition that my heart just can't seem to mend.

-LC

Jeremih - New Video

not really sure how i feel about this one.

a note from the past*

something old i found on my computer, that was written about me.

i apologize for bein a man of truth, a man who set himself to be a truely honesty

and sincere and open minded person who wanted to be nothin but devoted to u and

only u. i apologize for bein real even though for the most part bein real is all

dat i can be. i apologize for not givin u my all even though i felt i did maybe

theres somethin that i overlooked or dat i shouldnt have said , well wait a minute

im never sorry for any statements i make cuz i dont beilieve in biting my tounge for

kno one.i apologize for expecting to much of u and askin u 2 do more than u could do .

i apologize for bein dat guy who was hopin to change ya mindset as far as love or maybe

even as a person and how u look at life. i apologize also for me giving u to much of myself

and to much of my time .

i apologize for being something dat u couldnt handle even though the whole time i

was just tryna love u.

i apologize for having to vent how i truley feel in dis note but as u can see im not

droppin any names or givin any personal information. i kno i have apologized

for alot of things but it was just to let u kno dat u may seem dat ur

a somebody who is hard to come across but i would like to also let u

kno dat no matta wat im a guy dats hard to come by to just cuz of da

fact dat im NOT YA AVERAGE GUY and that i kno how to treat girls and

becuz i have a damn conscience unlike most guys and also just cuz of

da fact dat if or wenever u get ya mind str8 do kno dat for some strange reason

i guess becuz i truely got real feelings for that wen u cum back

imma be waitin wit open arms becuz deep down inside i feel dat it

aitn anything dat i have done or dat u done its just dat im not wat

ur used 2 but on my god given word and heart do kno dat if u was t

o trust a nigga and give him a chance at ya heart before U PUSH AWAY

SOMEBODY WHI REALLY CARES FOR U that it would seriously be worth it

becuz i would cherish, honor and respect wat we share and wat we have

now i admit i have done my dirt in da past to but its not wats in my

past dat mattas its how i do now and today to make my future something

i can be proud of and not regret i believe dat if i give u my all dat u

u can give me ur all , i hate having these walls in between us and im not

stupid so yes i do feel like im bein pushed away but i guess its cuz da feelings

dat i have are so strong to da point were it just wont let me leave u alone regardless

of wat u may have said and da fact dat im even pouring out my emotions on facebook which

kinda now makes sem visisble to anyone who reads this should let u kno dat i can give 2 fucks

wat others may think becuz there not important. and if i gotta deal with ur random emotions

every now and den or if ur feelin guilty about somethin u may have done just trust me and open

yaself up to tell me cuz ur only hurtin yaself by frontin bout ya feeelins cuz i want u and i

kno u want me to much has been expressed by both sides for it not to be but please dont feel

offended by dis note cuz its only me just doin wat i do and dats expressing myself now we are

to different ppl u cant do wat i do and i cant do wat u do but dats wat we are here for each

other to help each other do wat we so called cant do or in other words like da song {Make Me Better}

so i have poured out my heart now whether u take da time read dis note and actually think about wat

i have expressed is up 2 dat somebody

SIGNED SINCERELY ,

MY HEart aNd sOul

april 14, 2007

-EMINEM diss track .

oh this nigga went hard on this btch.

wanted*

I'm looking for a MAN, i repeat , a MAN ... not a boy.

he need these qualities;

-car
-cell phone
-JOB
-& his own place would be nice, but i won't knock him if he still lives at home.
-good dick. scratch that...GREAT dick.
& knows how to hit it from the back REALLLLL good.
-good personality
-doesn't have a girlfriend.

& for these wack ass, busted ass , stupid ass niggas that send me a messages on facebook talkin' bout they fit the description... READ my qualifications completely because all ya niggas had girlfriends. shiit she must not be doing something right over there ... lol.

instant update !

WOW. i haven't written in a long time due to the lack of Internet access since i've moved into my new place. & my freaking computer is on some BS. but no worries. i'll be back soon enough. as said before, i've moved into my new apartment with my roomy a.fox. its great & all .. blah blah blah blahh...

but for some reason.. i complained so much about moving outta durham , that when i finally MOVED out...i've been back everyday since i've moved. boy boy boy--talk about some wasted money on filling up my tank... anywho - my reason for coming back EVERY fucking day was a WASTE. like i'm not even gonna address the bullshit ass reason.

ANYWAYS.

i swear if its not one thing its another thing . like last week, i got pulled over in raleigh - on my way to durham for going 73 in the 55. -ITS A BUSINESS HIGHWAY & PEOPLE SPEED ALL THE TIME. but you know my luck.. i was the one that got pulled. & when i got pulled i received not ONE, not TWO, but yes folks THREE fucking tickets.

ticket 1: no inspection & no insurance

ticket 2: driving with revoked license

ticket 3: going 73 in the 55.

the only one that i think i should have got was one for the inspection - because i knew that i was suppose to get my car inspected last month i just forgot /:

-BUT . i had no clue that my l's were taken . so the officer told me to step out of the car & come & sit in his NICE ASS RED CHARGER so i could see why it was revoked. reason being - i didn't pay my last court cost's & i had a failure to appear for my last ticket i received in like MARCH. so he took my freaking license & sent me on my way.

THEN ...

on Wednesday... i was driving in durham.. i was on the west end & it was about 10ish & i was pulling up to a four way stop. i knew that there was a cop that was going to stop before me because i could tell before i approached the stop. so you know .. i'm ridin dirrty & shit .. so i gotdamn.. slowed WAYYYYYY down. so hopefully he wouldn't get behind me & run my tags & shit... so we sat there for a good 2 minutes & i just decided to go because it was more suspicious just sitting there. so sure enough when i pulled out.. this nigga got right behind me & ran my tags. & as soon as i hit the next stop sign i knew he was gonna pull me because he turned right behind me.. so i hurried & tried to make it to the store & get out the car & shit but he pulled up right behind me at the store & turned the lights on. ):

& once again i receive ANOTHER ticket for driving with my license revoked. & i got threaten that my car would be towed next time i got caught because i didn't have insurance or an inspection. so needless to say , that shit ain't being used at all right now.

& yesterday when i tried to move it .. that shit wouldn't even fucking move.

i'm just going to start fresh [hopefully] with a new car, new tags, an inspections & everything.

but ya know other then that... shit it is good with me . i've experienced yet another HEARTBREAK ... but its cool... ima bounce backk like a rubberband ball cause i'm just that btch. (:

oh yeah & i'm working on a mixtape too boyyyy. but until next time... ttys.

-LC*

-thoughts

somethings that i've done, i'm not that proud of.


some choice i've made, haven't been the best.

OH FUCKIN WELL.

people aren't perfect.

& sometimes i think people don't take time to think about the shit they've done.





recently - ive been thinkin' about the people that really bugg the fck outta me & i've realized - there are gonna be people in my life that i can't live without & people that i can't live with. sht, thats life.

you gotta take the good with the bad , no matter what.


i don't regret anything that i've done, but i do wish that i woulda done some shit different. there is no use of dwelling on past events .

& whats funny is people focus on my past like it was there own. when in reality...its mine.

so if i got passed it .. don't you think you should to?

strapped*

<-- so this is my new tat... shit kinda hot right... yeah i know i know.

sike, lets not be cocky or anything...but its my favorite tat so far (:
its not done yet tho. i have more to add to it.

& i got another one... it says strength... on my right wrist. nothing bigggg.

but umm anyways, ALOT of muthafuckers have been questioning me for getting this tat.

so ima answer the fucking question -- it has PERSONAL MEANING. meaning - i'm NOT going to tell you. SO don't send me messages asking why...BECAUSE i'm simply NOT going to reply.

on a lighter note - i know that i haven't been updating ; but best believe when i'm done with all this moving & shit... i'll be writing up a storm.

until then...

http://twitter.com/addictedtoLCC
http://facebook.com/addictedtoLCC
-LCC

& what the hell were you thinking?

PLEASE TELL ME . . what the fuck this nigga was thinking?

turn off !

[RED]*

wadduppppp nigga? lol jk.

hi guys ! (:

<--dammnnnnn, look at that btch hair. [i did a good ass job.] ANYWHO , with this new look, i'm loving it. (: a few new changes have came about in the past few days. i don't know how to really explain what's going on . but lets just say shit from the past is becoming apart of my future. i'm not saying too much until i read something. but yea...
omgsh - another thing... i really really really don't like people. this is a [PSA]- talk as much shit about me that you want. it doesn't effect me at all. like, really... you have NOTHING better to do with you LIFE & TIME but sit & converse about me. aye, truthfully- i feel good thats all you do.

& another thing - all these WACK ASS NIGGAS that are messaging me on fcbk - get a fucking life. please. hop off.

& another thinggggg - SEX. ugh. im not having sex anytime soon. SO STOP ASKING ME. & most likey ... the niggas that ever ASK me for SEX will NEVER get it. so just stop while you ahead. DAMN! i've been strong since may 8 & i'm going to continue. (:

& last thing...

-im so FUCKING exciting that i'm moving in june. & i'm glad the place is picked & i have a WONDERFUL roomate [[shout out to my trapholic btch - A.FOX.]]*. i really can't wait.

but um yeah, just a little update. (:

-LCC*

oh shit.

OH SHITTTT.

i swear he just confessed his love for rihanna... but it seems that he has a new boo. (:

looking a lil cozy huh?


let me find out.

epiphany*

LOVE?

fck it - i DON'T love that nigga.

it was all just an epiphany of my imagination.

THANK GOD!

leaked*

I wasn't going to blog on the issue . but ummm, i decided i wanted to. .

i dnt really care for Cassie - but she makes a good damn point.

when she gave her statement...she made it clear.

"The recent personal pictures that have been leaked on the interent of me were hacked & stolen out of my computer. These photos were obviously never inteded for the world to see and it's sad that people wouldc really take time to steal and post them, its just evil. At the end of the day breasts are breasts, mine weren't the first you've seen and they won't be the last ... people need to grow up, lets move on. Thank you. "

she makes a good point. females take naked pictures every damn day. child pornograph was just discussed on dr. phil the other day. its happening. big deal. its her breast - get over it. damn.

then, rihanna pictures come out too.

but, some sites have been saying that the pictures of rihanna aren't even really her. but if it is, she's a lil nastyy girl. lol.

anywho. check it outttt.

http://ebaytrafficexposed.blogspot.com/2009/05/rihannas-leaked-pictures-exposed.html

[love]

i LOVE him !
who?
HIM duh!

after ALL this TIME... i JUST realized today , that i'm in LOVE.
shit, i can't believe it. i've seen that none of them compare to what i had with HIM.
i didnt cherish what i had when i had it, but ya know - i realized that when i was with him, i FRONTED soooo hard with him. but today - after breakin down, i KNEW i had to have him.
& ima get em , shortly. hopefully.

tales from a groupie

"I arrived at her room and she was masturbating while Lil' Wayne played in the background. (IDK what the fuck was up with that) When she noticed, she kind of moaned and spoke at the same time telling me to come eat it.....".
--nicki minaj story.

sooo a few weeks ago, i came across this blog, "Tales From A Groupie". It is basically a blog where people that have had sexual encounters with celebs, share there story. I know its probably a WHOLE bunch of BULLSHIT... but its still interesting to read.

there are stories about; NICKI MINAJ, LIL WAYNE, SHIA LEBOUF, LUDACRIS & DIDDY - a lil bit of everybody.

go ahead -- check it outtttt.

http://www.backstagepazz.com/

REAL shit!

i'm a avid watcher of "Taking the Stage". & this scene - is REAL. i've been reading about how people don't like her attitude & shit - but, shit - she's real as hell. & her personality is fierce as hell.

which is the result for the "break-up". honestly tyler seems to be very confused. but aye, all niggas are confused.

change

I've failed, I've done what I never thought I would . I've fallen to the lowest point that I've ever been in my life . I've given up the fight & fallen into a depression. I see no reasons to continue. I'll let life run its course & follow in the footsteps. Its seems my life has changed, things have went on another path, that I was sure I'd never take . But, it has & its something that I have to deal with . I'm ashamed that its happened, but it has & there is no time machine to go back & fix my wrongs from the past .

Instead of dwelling on the past, I need to fix my future . I need to change the present so it'll heal the past. The goals I've set in my life, aren't gettin accomplished. Not only am I letting myself down, I'm letting the people that care about me down also. My mother says that she's never seen me like this before . & to be honest, I've never felt this way before. For once in my life, I honesty don't know what to do. I know what I need to do, I know how, where, & when to do it, I just haven't done it. Why? I couldn't even answer that question . Maybe because I pay to much attention to shit that doesn't matter. Maybe because I just don't want to. Maybe because I ... wait, those are all excuses. Excuses are the things that make me not do the right thing . "Oh, I'll do it next week", - that's one I say every monday . & the next monday & the next monday .

but today, right now - I'm done . No excuses, no "oh, I'll do it next week". I'm praising jesus to give me the strength to make it thru . I seem to only praise him when I need something, or when things aren't going right . I want to be able to praise him for the things that he helps me with. I want to be able to praise & tell him the goood things that have happened . nothing good has happened in a long time . I want a reason to smile, I want a reason to wake up in the morning . I want to be a better person & do better things. I want a better life & to be a better daughter.

so, next week, IS THE week, the week that I will change. & there will be no excuses . I'm sick of the tears & the yelling that have been exchanged from my mother & I. I'm going to change . (:

-LCC*

TWiTTER & BLACKBErrY MESSENGER*

I've recently joined twitter. (:

not really knowing how to use it, i'm still on it. I think i've gotten the point of it. ALOT of people are on twitter even gotdamn Oprah & Diddy.

if you got it - follow what i'm doing every hour of the day. http://twitter.com/addictedtoLCC.

& also - my blackberry has a messenger application. none of my "close friends" have a blackberry - but thru facebook, i've made some new friends. if you have a blackberry leave me your pin & i'll hit you up.

oh yeah & shout out to my favorite msgn. buddy.

JON (: - thanks for getting me thru the day with your messages.

-LCC*

KARMA !

KARMA.

a cycle of cause & effect.

"if you do good things, good things witll happen to you - if you do bad things, bad things will happen to you".

let me repeat it.

if YOU do BAD THINGS, BAD THINGS will happen to YOU.

-i PROMISE on EVERYTHING i love ... BAD THINGS will happen to YOU.

people these days, LIE so much... i swear it makes NO SENSE. these btches want to play the roll of being a "BAD BTCH", but if your as BAD as you say you are, don't lie when you do childish shit. but ya know, its all good, because my best friend - KARMA ; will turn around & fuck your shit all up . so no need for me to say shit to YOU... it'll all come back at you BIIIIITCHHH !

LC blackberyy notes .

right now ; I'm in the car on my way back from myrtle beachh ): - I had so much fun . unlike where I'm from - there is sht to do down there . but anyways ... everything with me is iightttttttt . I have a new friend in my life ... we'll call him [CL] (: ... we started talkin a few days ago & we haven't stopped since . he's real funny & I really like talkin to his retarded ass . (: .

anywayssss ...

as I'm in the car - I'm looking thru my bb & I'm finding all these unfinished notes that aren't finished . most of em are about guys or life . & one of em says some real deep sht ;;

"everytime. I kid yu not . everytime, the same sht happens . the sameeeeee sht . LC I love you baby . LC I love you bruh. LC I love you & I'm devoted to you & only you - then got damn 2 days later your cheating . what's the point ? honestly if & wen I'm in a relationship - I REALLY do my best to make the sht work . I don't cheat & don't "talk" to other guys like that . I respect my sigifigant other . until we hit that rock . the relationship killer rock . either the rock is caused from hearing things about your ass , or catching you in a lie, or just a sudden change of boringness in the relationship . & once you hit that rock - oh its a done deal . "

-idntknw why its not finished , or why I won't finish it - but for some reason I'm so over the idea of a "relationship" . until a person comes along & shows me the purpose or a reason - its all pointless . yes, I did cheat on my last bf - but it was simply because he was boring - he wasn't my type , we didn't do the same things - we didn't have personalities that went together . being friends is all we shoulda been .

another thing I didn't finish;

"damn -- I swear cops get on my nervess . like wht is the purposeeeeeee ? ugh - they should be on there grind gettin killerss - but instead they go thru the parks at night .

let me tell the storyy .

so my people & I was chillin in the park - rollin up & sht . we smoked & got lifted --chilled in my girl car til she had to leave then transferred to my niqqa car . while sittin' there it was gettin later & later until it was bout 10:30 & we all just in the car - FCK'd up . so we see a car coming into the park & just see that its another car just coming to chill after hourssssss . soooo we all chillingg - then another car comes down . to our suprise it was a damn cop . so my niqqa being the dumbass that he is - beeps his fckn horn & the BRIGHT ass lights came on . so of course she gets out the car & sht & comes to the car askin wht were doin ? & do we have anything illegal in the car & have we been smoking .... I swear I was nervous as hell cus I didn't knw wht was in his car . so I didn't say sht & let him do all the tlking & communicating - cus wen I'm fcked up - aint no tellin wit the hell imma be talking about . - so he tells her there is nothing illegal in the car [ as the other car that was in the park - drives off fast has hell - she catches the tags & call em in ( hahaha )] & that we hadn't smoked - but a person that was there b4 had a black -- so she returned to her vechical & then three other cops came up there & blocked in the car on the sides & sht & shined there BRIGHT ass lights in the car - so my niqqa asks the police office tht was wlkin up to the car if they could turn the lights off or something & he got the biggest attitude EVER & responded - "sir, your trespassing, & in my personal opinion , the "light" is going to stay on - so the area is well-surrounded". -the fckkkk. ? - by this time I was kinda worried , cus I didn't see the point of all the officers being there . finally the lady from bc said he could go to jail for trespassing - but she let him off with a warning & made us leave the park . "

- bruhhhh, that sht was crazyyyyyy as hell . cops be on some other other type sht . esp. down there a myrtle - they ride bikes on the strip & look directly into mothafckas car ... & wen we were goin to the club - they was arresting niqqas for not being in a straight line . THE FCK? so stupid .

another thing ;

" everything you are - made me everthing I'm not - jumpin from lie to lie : being honest - yu'd never play the part

Thought yu'd be different - tried not to doubt you from the start . But ima smart girl, I knew we'd never make it far.

I let my heart get involved & let the lies over run us.
when I came back on the come up - my dream was over & reality set in. "

damn ,
I dnt even knw what that was about . but that sht real . Lol.

& another one -

"got my head twisted
missing wht we had .
Every conversation
a memory of our past.
looking back at it
its something that
I couldn't live without
Now I go thru life without a doubt
I made the dumbest decision of my life .
Being with you was a privliage that I took
For granted. I didn't realize that wen I had you - now all I got is pictures to remind me ."
- I know who that's about. someone that I shouldn't even be thinkin about - but damn I miss him . & its not the kidd .

& the last one -

"where was I three years ago ? - that's the question that has been lingering in my mind since I left his house .

three years ago - I was playing games with lil niqqas that dnt mean sht to me now... I'm sitting here with shoulda, woulda, couldas - pondering in my mind .

peep this ;; we gon call him T. man , T & I have knwn each other 9 yrs . he's the one person that I still keep in contact with from elementary school.

even tho we was young - he was the first guy that I really liked to be around . from playin on the playground to hanging with each other outside of school . in like 5th grade - I met the family. his mom, father, & sister. they were all so sweet & so friendly .

by 6th grade we were in a relationship - even tho we went to different schools ; we keep in contact & still chilled . I honestly thought I was in love with him [ sht , I didn't even knw wht love was ]. anyways - once he left schools in durham - It was kinda hard to contact him. somehow we broke up & stopped talkin until like 8th grade & the summer b4 9th grade - sht was good ya knw . but neither of us wnted to reflect on the past een tho we knew the feelings were still there .

[fast foward]-- he txt'd me in october of 2oo8 & my heart dropped . I knew the # but wasn't quite sure - so I asked & I was right : it was him . we've been talking everyday since . he just got out of a [[LONG TERM]] relationship (2-3 years) !! the girl he was with - started doing some pretty FCK'd up things . so of course talking & chilling with him brought up all of our old feelings & stuff - but I tried to let'em all go because I dnt wnt to end up with a broken heart - but for some reason ; neither of us can let the feelings go . which is a problem -- I told him that if he wnted to be with me :: then she has to be completly outta the picture & being that they just broke up - its gonna take him a while . I mean , wht am I suppose to do ? wait ? "
- boyyyyy, this sht is crazy . after I wrote this - about 1 month later , we stopped talkin , for some reason . I can't even remember the sht right now . but it was something dumb & now --- we hardly even talk .

see, why waste time on people if they just end up doin somethin to fck sht up in the end . ugh - everything is just [pointless] .

but I knw this sht long as hell , but oh well. if yu love me , yu'll read it all (:

peacee .

-LCC*

[CHEATERS] - revised*

boysss boyssss boysss boysss , boysss I do adoreee .

geesh - guys are crazy . being that I dnt fuck with females - [AT ALL] , I'm mostly with guys . & boy I promise you, I don't even wnt a boyfriend anymore . like, with each one, they all show me different parts of themselves that just makes me so...UGH . lol .

for example , I have a guy friend that has a girlfriend. - boy, she thinks that they are gon be together forever . little does she know - he's a cheater & a liar . & has admitted it to me . which is just sad - because this hoe he wit tryna make the transition to a wifee type .

another guy I knw , is single, but is still madly in love with his ex girlfriendS. he just cnt seem to let them go & see the realness of a female right in front of him .

another guy, has a girlfriend, & just continues to lie about everything . which is just dumb . -because he could just be honest with her, but chooses not to .

another guy, boyy let me tell yu - one day he was chillin with these girls that he picked up & then his girl called & he had to put the girls he picked up in his niqqa car so he can go get his girl & then drop her off & get the girls again . THE FCK?


guys are just on some other sht lately . & yes, I've heard from dude after dude, females do the same sht , which is partly true - but in my opinion - a girl can stop . well I can, if I find the one person that I believe is being faithful to me . [100%] - then I'm done with the game . but it seems like all the guys I chill with, says that one girl fucked them up & they been doing there dirt since . even the couple that I thought would be together for marriage - fell out & another girl was the factor in there relationship . I just see behaviors & man, my man coulda been fckn in the bak of his car . & I mean, I'd never even know it . females are just as bad - but I'm sick of all the games , yu cheat on me , I cheat on yu shit . its dumb . I'm sick of the lies , & the duration of the relationship being on me . I wnt someone that wnts to be with me, just as much as I wnt to be with them . but, from the looks - that sht is all a damn dream ; but aye - its all goody . ima be chiiiillin . (:

signed ;;
-LCC*

blackberry <3

IM REALLYYYY HAPPY RIGHT NOW.

i finally UPDATED my blackberry.

might not seem like a big deal - but shtt, i wasn't able to snd pics.

& now i can. (:

ummm, yeah.

just a little update of LC's life.

peaceee.

-LCC*

friday (:

so its finally friday.



idntknw why i'm happy - i mean it just another weekend. but for some reason i've been needing a weekend all week.



sometimes i feel like i can't escape from life. like everything that i do ; it all reminds me of life. even if i'm gettin lifted... its still thoughts that dont seem to leave my mind. ; sometimes i wish that i could just leave & come back when i'm ready to face it all. but then again i remember that if i leave - there would be no coming back . not tryna be on no crazy shit - but i wish i could just get in my honda & travel far far FAR away & not even come back - start over . do things differently. be a different person. my mind doesnt stop thinking anymore - everyday it is pacing thru thoughts .

lately - i've been hearing different sht about me. isn't that funny? i'm hearing shit about myself. but i SWEAR people have NO LIFE. for example - my school situation. I DID NOT DROP OUT. its called a TRANSFER. i dont even know why i addressed that issue - but its been erking the hell outta me . thats all i'm going to say about that bullsht.

but on another note - im going to try to enjoy my weekend & not worry about the dumb bullshit.

(:

LCC*

[LIAR]

man , one thing I wnt to knw - is why do people constantly LIE ? like, I'm not tryna say I'm the most honest person - but I only lie when I have to . I mean I don't have to - but if its something life or death or a little white lie - I'll tell it . but I [HATE] wen people lie about unnecessary stuff . UGH it really bothers me . esp if you tryna to make your life seem interesting & yu just make up lies just to make yourself seem interesting . I don't like [FAKE] people at all . & making up stories so you life seems entertaining is even more of a nuisance . esp when I find out that [everything] that you've told me was just a [lie] . ewwwww .

I'm a very accepting person . like if yu have no life, I mean I'll exchange some words with ya - but I mean if yu dnt have a life --honestly there is [nothing] to really talk about . no going out, smoking, drinking, parties, or anythinggg :: wht the fckkkk do you do ?

I just wnt to know you - for you . not all the lies .... but it seems like I cnt even get that - but its all good tho - I'm [so over it>.

-LCC*

toe sucker*

okay so on facebook, in my honesty box a few weeks ago ... i got a message that said , " i wanna suck you toes". then i got a chat message from this guy i recently ++ as a friend... a few minutes into the convo ; this niqqa says, " you have some pretty feet " . so of course i say thanks, & ask did he write in my honesty box & he says yes it was him. so i'm like yo , why do you wnt to suck my toes? & he says because when he seen em - he just had to suck em...so me being me; i'm weirded out over here.

then a few days later - a DIFFERENT niqqa starts commenting some pictures of my feet tellin me how sexy they are. & then snds me messages asking me about em. he had nerve to ask me to make a WHOLE ALBUM of my feet. like THE FCKK? -i swear people are crazy.

& then today - like 15 min ago... i get another honesty box message & it says i wanna suck you toes & i'll pay for you to get em done...--damn niqqa... then he chats me & asks what i'm doing - acting like he didn't just write in my honesty box - then, he asked when i was gon let him suck my toes... & i ask did he just write in my honesty box & he says yes it was him & i ask like what the fck is your problem? like why are you so obbessed with my feet? STRANGEEEE. but aye - i shouldnt turn down a free pedicure.

sike nah - FCK I LOOK LIKE.

i swear people are CRAZY.

; LCC

--showing myself LOVE. (:

in love with a stripper.

OMARION GRANDBERRY married to an ex-Magic City stripper with a BI-SEXUAL past.

SAY WHT?

sht, i didnt even knw this niqqa got married...

& she shouldnt wear whatever shoes' she wearing because she is like a fckn twin tower over his ass.

wussup with everyone tryna get with a stripper.? lett me findd out...

-LCC

pics from; http://theybf.com

sexgameSTUPID!

sex sex sex .
the wood - penis - dick

niqqas are fckin hilarious . I swear I'm so sick of hearing about "how good" the dick is . then I get it & its straight [BULLSHIT]* .

check this out ;;

this guy & I had a sexual encounter with, thought that his dick was like the sht . like , I even thought aye, this sht might be kinda good . I mean - his "swag" well his whole demeanor just yells - I gotta big ass dick & ya knw I heard some people say - hell yeah , that sht niceee . so - boom boom boom ; we fucking .

I kid yu not , 2 MINUTES into that shit, this niqqa cums .

I REPEAT [TWO MINUTES].

smh smh smh ...

then afterwards say some shit like , "ah yu gotta let me do it again, I promise shit like that doesn't ever happen".

--THE FUCK ?

niqqa it did happen & yur not ever gonna get another chance to "prove" yurself . now I could go & ruin your "mean dick repuation" ... but I'll wait until some sht pop off to do all that .

all I gotta say is - with niqqa this days ; dnt bragg on ya shit , if its not worth bragging about . its just pointless . some of my girls have had the same issues arise & I mean - its just a waste of time . I'm not tryna say yu need to go around saying yo sht small or wackk , but dnt openly share how amazing it is & in reality - sht is wackkkk as fuckk .

-LCC*

venting.

I'm feeling broken.
everything is falling apart.
life has taken over so fast,
and there is NOTHING i can do.
outta my control, i can't play this role.
I'm 8teen - not thirty8 ...
i cant play both...be both...try to handle it.
its not me that should worry,
its not me that should continue to call,
just to hear the voicemail.
i shouldn't sacrifice the loves in my life,
because you sacrificed our life for the things you love.
I'm too young to worry, to young to be afraid...
i can't take it anymore...

everything is gone... & i just don't care.
I'm done worrying about what we're going to do.
I'm done making up lies & excuse for you behavior.
I'm done being the responsible one,
I'm done being the one that keeps it from everyone else.
I'm done with it all.

I'm going to live my life & do what i need to do in order to get the things that i want.

-UGH just needed to vent.

-LCC*

"sexting"*

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

-An oft-cited survey says that 39 percent of teens have sent similar photos of themselves ... and 15 percent of high-school boys say they disseminate the pics after a breakup.


-http://www.lemondrop.com/2009/03/06/teen-commits-suicide-is-sexting-to-blame/

ughhh oprah to the rescue

"& also, love doens't hurt. I've been saying this to women for years: 'If a man hits you once, he will hit you again.' "

people with [ NO LIFE ]

so i was reading blogs & i came across something that really, BOTHERED me.

its a blog about rihanna & how much hatred that this person fills for her. it compares rihanna & beyonce & says that rihanna keeps trying to be like beyonce. i mean don't get me wrong - i love em both , but if i didn't, i wouldn't fckn do a whole blog about how much i didnt like em. not that your not entitled to your own opinion, but in my defense - who does sht like this?

anyways - check it out for yourself.

http://rihannasucks.blogspot.com/

-LCC*

who are you ?

on my birthday recieved a text ... 12:09:18 AM

Happy Birthday !!!!!!!!!

i didnt have the number stored in my phone - so i thank em & ask who it is. after guessing a few times; i give up & they tell me they will be dropping something off at my door for my bday. so ya know - sht i ask was they tryna like bomb my place or something & they said that despite our differences, they didnt forget my bday...

so i say okayyy.

& at like 6 ish - my mom opens the door & wakes me up & tell me there was something outside for me...

its a bear & card ...

the card reads:

"even though we have differences i still wanted to wish you a happy birthday. congratulations on reaching a succeddful 18 years of life and i hope you have many more. "
signed, that guy or that dude or "da kidd".

i knw your reading this like ... okay ... & the point is whatt??

but like, idntknw. there is a point - i just cnt make it right now; but it was one of the nicest things that he's ever done for me & to be honest , i wouldn't have thought that he woulda done it. playing the jerk is what he's known for in my eyes, but like this side of him make me really wonder, who is he? like ... idk. ugh- it just threw me all off. even tho its was just a bear & a card -- it was special.

i know your gonna read this kidd & i just wnted to let you know that i truly appreciated it.

-LCC*


listening to: tony yayo - so seductive. _ LMAO.

eighteen (:

omgsh - so i'm starting this post at 11:44 -- so i'm technically not EIGHTEEN, but a few minutes won't matter. im glad i made it to EIGHTEEN, i mean i wasn't doubting i would or anything, but like sht, its cool. lol, i mean i'm LEGAL. so i dnt have to get people to buy my blacks anymore. (:

but uhhh, my cpu just got fixed today . which is the reason i haven't had that many new posts. but um , life is life. i still HATE most FAKE FEMALES behavior. but its one of those things that will NEVER change. & ya know it kills me because the same btch tht witnesses another btch being fake, will soon show her "true colors" & turn out to be TWENTY times FAKER. but aye, you live & yu learn, right?

seems those hoes will NEVER learn. but shtttttt, i dont really even give a fck. ima do me & do me good, & gets mine. (:

--&& i think i made a new friend...that will be around for a while ; but i'll be updating more. (:


oh yeah......


im gettin TATTED tomorrow. (:


-signed

-- a soon to be LEGAL

--LCC*

.untitled*

Sometimes I wonder if people can ever fully right there wrongs . sometimes I'm sorry & I forgive you's aren't always good enough . The pain one caused is always a nagging thought that comes across your mind . Until you, let go of the pain . Get rid of the burden . I've thought before that all the pain I've endured - has been forgiven & forgotten - but truth be told ; it hasn't . Every time somethin happens within the same situations - I keep reminiscing on past times - the pain, feelings, & memories replay constantly until somethin else happens - & I lose sight of it .
I thought that once I said - I forgive you & I understand that your sorry - that if yu did the same thing ,it'd be all good - but the truth is ; sht gets 100 times worse . which is horrible . the love that I had for you as a person - is faded , never remainin' - cus I'm done maintainin this life that yu made for us .

2ndTICKET!!

wednesday was like - ugh ! a horrible day . seriously - I think I have the worst luck EVER !

the story ;;

I just recently got my license back & sht - so ya knw - I was happy as fck to be legal . so it was wednesday & me & my girls didn't have sht else to do, so we was chillin with some dudes . all we was doing was ridin' around smokin & wasting my fckn gas . lol - so these niqqas neva rode with me before & we needed to spice up the boring drive around durham - so my girl said take em on the roller coaster .

huh ? wht roller coater ??
- in hope valley farms - toward like MLK in the townhouse neighbors , there is this hill - like omgsh - its like the funniest sht ever to go on . wen I discovered it ; I went on tht sht like everyday .

anyways; so like weneva I go on that sht - I make sure no families are out or cars are around because I push around 40ish goin down it & its like a hill that goes down & has a dip in it so like the car lifts off the ground - CRAZY sht - but fun as hell .

so I had 5 people including me in my honda so we was packed in that btch & jess said we should go cus they had never been . so I agree & we pick a song & we ride . so coming dwn the hill - I prolly was pushing like 45 & my car lifts off the ground with tht sht . & then I see the cop car . man - I've been on this hill like 30 times before & they has NEVER been a cop anywhere around . I knew that he was gonna pull me over - so I pulled over & he pulled up behind me .

he comes to the window with his hands out & asks what was I thinking . sht - I was like man, I don't knw . he took my license & registration & took forever to come back & give me a citation for reckless driving . man on tht sht - it was my vechical was airborne . ): - that sounds so dangerous .

guess I learned my lesson . ):

-LCC*

-tongue piercing*

soooo ; like four days ago -- I got my tongue pierced . omgshhhhh - talk about painful sht . so like - I only did the sht cus I was pissed with my mom & I knew that she'd be pissed if I did it . but anywho - me & my btch went to dibbs so he could do it cus he did one of our other piercings . so like ; I knew that he didn't have the correct jewelry so we had to get our own. so my friend got her tongue pierced & they used a bar that was bigger then the usual jewelry that would be used . so I kinda knew that this sht wasn't gonna be right .
sooo -- we went & got the jew & went back to the place ; & my girl jess went first . because even tho it was my idea - I was scared as sht . lol . so she went & like he didn't give her no kind of warnin that he was about to stick the big ass needle through he tongue. then she was bleeding like crazyyyyy & then she was done . It was all so quick but oh so painful . gotdamn ; I swear after seeing her sht get done - I wanted to just bounce ; but we pinky promised - so I couldn't break that sht . so we started lookin at her sht & seen tht it wasn't straight . but I told her dnt wrry about it .

so I sat my ass in the chair & lettem' knw tht I was prolly gonna scream or cry . so I told him; he better put my sht straight . so he got damn stuck that needle thru my tongue & I screamed & I yanked my tongue back in my mouth - but that damn clamp was on it ; so it made it hurt even more - finally :: I let go & let him finish - but got damn ; I was in so much pain & there was a lot of fckn blood - EWWW it was gross . my poor tongue was feel horrible.

40 $$ & we bounce.


I get in the car & look in the mirror & it just wasn't right cus my tongue felt like it was about to fall off because the bar was so small . so I called twisted six- cus I knw they knw wht they are doing because they did my industrial & tragus piercings . so I was tryna to explain the problem & they ended up tellin me to just come in & see them - so we headed to twisted six .

wlk up in there & tlk to this lady & basically she said that - he fcked up us . BIG TIME ; so she said that I needed to remove that jewelry because if I didn't ; my tongue would swell up so much on top of the jewelry tht I'd have to have that sht SURGURICLY removed . -- I was bEYOND PiSSED . so then I ask can I but the jewelry that they use & put it in & she says yes & that they'll put it in for me .

so we go upstairs & he takes the sht out & blood is everywhere manee - so he tries to put there jewelry in & hotdamn - moreeeeeeee BLOOD . so he tells me - my best bet is to just let it heal & come back & let them do it because they knw how to do it right . so I'm pissed because I spend like gotdamn 50 ish $$ & didn't get nothing to show for it.

so me being the G that I am - wen I was sittin in my car - me & jess put the bars in twisted six gave us in ourselves . It didn't hurt that much - & it went in with no problem . it felt so much better then the sht tht dibbs did .

but the nxt day gotdamn - I was miserable . so I took that bullsht out & put in a bar that I had in my ear in my tongue & it was clean - so it relieved the pain bc it was bigger . but I still couldn't tlk right nor eat . it still was sooo painful .

so yesterday - that sht had to come out - the pain was still there & I couldn't stand it man . so I'm not sure if ima still get it redone later or not . but its not worth all the pain . I'm just crazy & wnted to do something crazy . so I did it - had it - & hated it .

dibbs fck'd me up tho - its cool tho ; tht sht is gon now . (: & I can tlk & eat like I wnt to . _(:

-LCC*

lifesucks!

boy oh boy oh boy ; people always say - dnt say yu hate yur life / or say its hard to deal with : bc yu never know wht the nxt persons life is like ;; sht true as hell bruhh .

people see me & think - aye ; she got it easy or sht cnt be tht hard for her. [honesty]- idntknw wht they say ; but they prolly think tht sht it better then how it really is. my smile & personality is something that I can make people think I'm the happiest girl in the world - & wht kills me - is the fact tht I'm really not.

if yu only knew the sht that went dwn . yu'd think of me as a fuckin superhero with the way I put up with this bullshit. I make it seem like I dnt have a care in the world , wen really I'm wondering when somethin else will happen .

I really wnt to keep it 100 ; but there is just some sht ; tht should be kept private & personal about me & my life : so ima keep it like that. but inside ; its killin me because all the emotions & feelings are bottled up - tightly sealed - never being opened . & thts how they are going to stay.

- LCC*

youlostone*

these last few days have been hell . like - I haven't even wrote a blog because I can even express how I fuckin feel in wrds. like - ugh !
basically my "best friend" - lmao at tht title; anyways - she wants to be "independent". funny thing is ; she says independent like I'm holding her back from sht. which is most def. not even true.

before I state the situation - or how I feel , let's be clear - this is MY BLOG - remind YOURSELF it says "& LC said..." - my thoughts' , opinions, & venting area. so if you get offended - oh muthafucking well !

so honestly in my opinion ; the [whole] situation is so muthafuckn BULLSHIT. honestly ! & wen I tell other people - not random people - but people that know both me & ol girl say its some BULLSHIT. like the whole shit started because of a dinner & me being her "best friend" didn't get invited ; remind you - she get invited everywhere with me & attends when she is invited - no matter the event. & then wen I txt yu , yu dnt respond which basically makes you look guilty as sht , like yu knw your in the wrong . the call the evening of the nxt day & try to carry convo like nthn was wrong . then ask wht I'm doing for the superbowl - & I say something with your friend that you ignore when she tries to chill or do anything with you & somehow you end up comin along. then she says - she talked to me - well said hey when I got in the car - which I NEVER even heard...& not talk to me the rest of the night ; then get pissed cus I write a blog about the sht & I call yu a btch. bein a "bestfriend" yu shoulda known me & that I was gon write about it. ANYWAYS - then say I "screw faced" you at school & call me a btch in the middle of the hall - like you lost your damn mind. THEN - I come to your house to talk to you & find out wht the fckin issue is & you really act like you lost it. THEN got the nerve to call me & tell me that you think we need to talk because its turning into something that it wasn't suppose to turn into ... THE FCK ? I just came to yo gotdamn house to tlk about the sht. THEN today - yu get in my front seat & tell meeh all these excuses. well excuse me - to me everything was a EXCUSE. "going off to college & having a job & my boyfriend & this music thing & tryna get A's in my classes, I'm just tryna to be independent" - THE FCK? I knw wht yu have to do - I was your "friend", I clearly knw all that sht -- & I dnt have nothin to do with that. got damn - I dnt need your rides - I dnt need anything from you - so dnt make it seem like I bother you or anything - because that's def. not the case. sht just real stupid. but aye - I'm done tlkn bout sht; yu dnt wnt to be my friend - but yu dnt wnt beef ?? sorry - but I'm just going to dislike your ass, because still to me - everything is an EXCUSE & FAKE.

once again - this is LC's blog. MY OPINIONS!! so whatever.

you lost one ; not me.

-LCC*

&another*

losing friends are like losing $$ - you might be pissed cus you think you need it . but then you realize ; there's more $$ in the streets. yu'll get more.

lately, I've been having some issues . [like always]- its funny how people change & get a lil bit of something & forget they started with nothing. - thts like the realest sht ever.

I swear - I had the best people in the world surrounding me - now it seems I only have 1. but that doesn't bother me at all. because one is all I need anyways.

but sht has jus been pissing me the fuck off . & I take steps to make sure that its just not me that's tripiing over sht. : I'll ask others opinions about the situation just to make sure I'm not over reacting . but this sht ; I've recently experienced is beyond fck'd up. & the funny sht is - I never woulda thought this btch woulda did some bullsht like this. but aye - it is wht it is I guess.

let me explain ; I dnt give a flyin' fck if yu have an issue with me - dnt call me ; be fake with me on the fone - then see me & act like yu dnt knw I'm even present when we are in the same muthafuckin place. esp being that your the stupid muthafucka tht caused the issues. & its funny how wen a dumb person knws they did something wrong / wasn't right doesn't wnt to bring attention to the fact tht they did something - instead pretend like sht is fine. but ya knw wht - all the [fakeness] isn't needed at all. stay wrapped up in your "happy" life - & ima just do me.

& I knw yur reading this sht (: - so uh ; hope ya like'd it .

broken*

kinda personal - but oh well. (:

i think i'm broken.
--whatcha mean broken?
broken in a sense that - if i love you - or maybe in love with you ... kissing me is all your gonna get.
--WHAT ? that makes no sense.
alritee alritee ; i'll explain - i'll explain. (:

so ; starting my sexual ... beginnings - my first was some guy that to this day still doesn't mean shit to me. niqqa was sexy as fuck. like the sexiest niqqa i've fcked with- EVER, but us & a relationship; i knew it would never work.

second niqqa - i knew when i first started talkin to him - damn - i could see myself with him . but once we got to talkin & getting to know each other - i seen shit - he's not even my type. we agreed on only one thing which is sex. although he didn't know too much & neither did i, we learned from each other.

the two other guys - one of em used game. i knew it was game ; but i fell for it. i knew that shit wasn't going to work between us. & i figured that if i played along like a dumb btch-- it'd make him feel better & it did. he thought he had me with all the ,"baby, i miss you" or the " your the only one i want & were going to be together" BULLSHIT. but i'm smart - & i was physically attracted to him ... so hey - shit got popping. in the process of messing with him - i lost someone. [[no details]]
then the other guy-- waste of time.

but none of these guys - i was in love with / or had any kinda relationship feelings for.
& the people that i'm in relationships with or "love" - i never give them that chance. i don't know why but thats just how it goes.

broken?

is that the right way to describe whatever this is? or is it i haven't found the right one to "love" to give the chance too?
i've shared this with one niqqa i thought i "loved"- & he was really shocked & was glad that i told him that because he got insight to the way i see things & why i don't do shit with him. he seemed to have no problems. he was accepting of it.

at the end of the day - it seems like niqqas can do what they want or who ever they want ... & not get judged by who- or - how many btches they fck. when girls have the "niqqa mentality" - & say they fck mad niqqas - they are a hoe , whore, slut, & other names. i dnt get why there is such a issue. when guys do something is ok - but if a female did the same thing its wrong on her part. my friend has been having this issue in here life & that sht bothers us. & different guys give us there pros & cons about the whole situation. basically niqqas judge btches - but btches aren't suppose to judge a niqqa.

all of it is stupid to me - but i choose NOT to do shit with people. unless we've had past experiences- i'm not fckin with cha.

& if your reading this & your surprised -- guess what? its all the REAL facts. so whatever the FCK you've heard - gon ahead & smack the lying BTCH tht told cha. (:

signed ;

-LCC*