kinda personal - but oh well. (:
i think i'm broken.
--whatcha mean broken?
broken in a sense that - if i love you - or maybe in love with you ... kissing me is all your gonna get.
--WHAT ? that makes no sense.
alritee alritee ; i'll explain - i'll explain. (:
so ; starting my sexual ... beginnings - my first was some guy that to this day still doesn't mean shit to me. niqqa was sexy as fuck. like the sexiest niqqa i've fcked with- EVER, but us & a relationship; i knew it would never work.
second niqqa - i knew when i first started talkin to him - damn - i could see myself with him . but once we got to talkin & getting to know each other - i seen shit - he's not even my type. we agreed on only one thing which is sex. although he didn't know too much & neither did i, we learned from each other.
the two other guys - one of em used game. i knew it was game ; but i fell for it. i knew that shit wasn't going to work between us. & i figured that if i played along like a dumb btch-- it'd make him feel better & it did. he thought he had me with all the ,"baby, i miss you" or the " your the only one i want & were going to be together" BULLSHIT. but i'm smart - & i was physically attracted to him ... so hey - shit got popping. in the process of messing with him - i lost someone. [[no details]]
then the other guy-- waste of time.
but none of these guys - i was in love with / or had any kinda relationship feelings for.
& the people that i'm in relationships with or "love" - i never give them that chance. i don't know why but thats just how it goes.
broken?
is that the right way to describe whatever this is? or is it i haven't found the right one to "love" to give the chance too?
i've shared this with one niqqa i thought i "loved"- & he was really shocked & was glad that i told him that because he got insight to the way i see things & why i don't do shit with him. he seemed to have no problems. he was accepting of it.
at the end of the day - it seems like niqqas can do what they want or who ever they want ... & not get judged by who- or - how many btches they fck. when girls have the "niqqa mentality" - & say they fck mad niqqas - they are a hoe , whore, slut, & other names. i dnt get why there is such a issue. when guys do something is ok - but if a female did the same thing its wrong on her part. my friend has been having this issue in here life & that sht bothers us. & different guys give us there pros & cons about the whole situation. basically niqqas judge btches - but btches aren't suppose to judge a niqqa.
all of it is stupid to me - but i choose NOT to do shit with people. unless we've had past experiences- i'm not fckin with cha.
& if your reading this & your surprised -- guess what? its all the REAL facts. so whatever the FCK you've heard - gon ahead & smack the lying BTCH tht told cha. (:
signed ;
-LCC*
Thursday, January 29, 2009
broken*
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
puzzlepiece*
precia precia precia.
damn bruh - i swear; i have to go & thanks mr. jones for not moving your seat in Algebra 2. because he always asked ; where will your friends be after this class? - & got damn; one day of skippin is all it took for us to see -- damn thats my twin. not physically - but got damn mentally- we two peas in a pod. (:
your post brought tears to my eyes. not alot of shit can do that now-a-days. its been an exactly year that i've known you & i wish it'd be longer. but i feel you came into my life at the right time & helped me realize who was really a friend & who was just a FAKE ASS BITCH. you helped me realize what a "REAL friend" really is & how they act.
& that day when you told me about your sister; i could tell that it was something that was really important part of you & your life. so i knew when her birthday came around ; it would be really hard on you. but then i thought - in a sense ; she's not here ; but i'm trying my best - to be your big sister. and not only your sister but one of your closest friends. & i meant every word i told you that day. i will stay a true & trustworthy friend to you. & will always be here.
& no matter how far away - shit ain't gon change but my address. i'm always one text or one call away. or a 1 hr. 30 min drive away. yeah it'll be hard for you to lie without me; but hey; it'll all work itself out.
& everyone knows that we are always together & prolly think that your my best friend ; but although that spot it filled - its been filled before & before & before... but the thing about a puzzle piece - only ONE PIECE can properly fit to complete the puzzle. & that one piece will & forever remain you.
& girl i can't wait til you turn 18 because we'll be connected. even tho; we got damn connected at the hip to each other.
& girl - when i go off to college - i sure as hell am gonna miss those omelets. (:
&& one more thingg...
- i fuckin love you puzzle piece.
<3
signed;
--lc.carter*
UGH!
im going thru something right now; but i can't put it into words; like - UGHHHH ! like i don't UGHHHHh! thats all i can say. i don't see why people just can't tell you shit to your face or wen you txt or over the fone; like i don't see why shit happens like that. like all these FAKE ass muthafuckas surround me & got damn i don't like it. just tell me . TELL ME.
stop writing about me on got damn facebook or your blog. & if you do ; use my name or something.
& dnt try to act one way when your with me -- then totally different when we aren't together. i just don't get it. i'm a very protective person & if something is mine... or was mine... i admit - i'll flip when another btch that i know gets a ya know " taste " of it.
its just me - i can't change it. so whateverrrrrrrr....
UGHHH. !
ayee*
ima bad ass btch
wit some sick ass sht
Hit ya niqqa up
but yu gon hear a click
he too busy wit this clit
to be worried bout his dumb ass bitch
buzz buzz yu keep txtn his fone ; oh oh - his tounge ; its making me moan .
dnt get me wrong - I knw this aint rightt - but baby boy wouldn't let me put up a fight .
people*
todays' events- have really made me realize why i HATE people so much.
they are just so stupid. like i really don't get it.
but; fuck em' ...
& i realized - i'm some people addiction ... strange right? - i believe so.
people checkin' up on MY SHIT just to talk about what i'm doing with MY LIFE.
its real FUNNY how that all works out . & dumb btches that STALK my shit --
GET A FCKING LIFE & DON'T LET MINE BE YOUR ENTERTAINMENT.
--thanks.
signed:
-lc.carter*
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
wayne&rock*
i must say ; when i heard this; i was like ... the FCK? but i listened to his single,
& i acutallly enjoyed it. i'm a wayne fan - but when i started fckn with drake & tyga;
he somehow faded into the background. but sht; i like this ROCK kinda sht tho. it just
makes me wonder how the rest of the album is going to be.
heres a sample.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
ATL*
& we ride on them things like everyday
big beats; hit street; see gangsta roamin'
&& parties dnt stop til' 8 in the mornin'."
yesterday ; i left sucky ass nc & took a trip with my fav. btch to ATL.
we're here for the battle of the bands - all the HBCU school are here. i've never been to the for anything - just drove through when i was going to alabama. but last night; we drove through downtown & i must say - it was NICCCCCCCEEEEE.
now i'm just in the room - waiting to leave. some stupid person told me they hoped it "rained on my parade" & sure enough its raining. but oh well ; that shit ain't gon effect my trip. lol.
BUT
all the way here i was texting the NO GOOD guy & ugh - it seems like he is still trying to maintain a friendship - which i'm fine with. i think that the feelings are still there - but i know he's no good for me and i can do MUCH better which is part of the reason why i'm doing better & got back with my EX. my puzzle pieces says that he's better for me and we didn't have that many problems - other then arguing & a few STUPID lies & not seeing either other ; but i start back driving NEXT WEEK. so all the kinks should be worked out then. hopefully.
i've realized that its hard to put your place where it really belongs. like i know where my heart wants to be ; but i know where my mind is telling me is right. its really hard to listen to my mind & not follow my heart; because i know that my heart is telling me to wait around for him* - but frankly - he has TOO MUCH shit with him. so i'm where i belong . i just have to start believing it & living it- & stop talking to him as much.
ANYWAYS; i'm ready to have FUN & not think about any of my worries left in NC.
& find a lil ATL boo. (:
signed ; lc.carter.
