Friday, August 7, 2009

a note from the past*

something old i found on my computer, that was written about me.

i apologize for bein a man of truth, a man who set himself to be a truely honesty
and sincere and open minded person who wanted to be nothin but devoted to u and
only u. i apologize for bein real even though for the most part bein real is all
dat i can be. i apologize for not givin u my all even though i felt i did maybe
theres somethin that i overlooked or dat i shouldnt have said , well wait a minute
im never sorry for any statements i make cuz i dont beilieve in biting my tounge for
kno one.i apologize for expecting to much of u and askin u 2 do more than u could do .
i apologize for bein dat guy who was hopin to change ya mindset as far as love or maybe
even as a person and how u look at life. i apologize also for me giving u to much of myself
and to much of my time .
i apologize for being something dat u couldnt handle even though the whole time i
was just tryna love u.
i apologize for having to vent how i truley feel in dis note but as u can see im not
droppin any names or givin any personal information. i kno i have apologized
for alot of things but it was just to let u kno dat u may seem dat ur
a somebody who is hard to come across but i would like to also let u
kno dat no matta wat im a guy dats hard to come by to just cuz of da
fact dat im NOT YA AVERAGE GUY and that i kno how to treat girls and
becuz i have a damn conscience unlike most guys and also just cuz of
da fact dat if or wenever u get ya mind str8 do kno dat for some strange reason
i guess becuz i truely got real feelings for that wen u cum back
imma be waitin wit open arms becuz deep down inside i feel dat it
aitn anything dat i have done or dat u done its just dat im not wat
ur used 2 but on my god given word and heart do kno dat if u was t
o trust a nigga and give him a chance at ya heart before U PUSH AWAY
SOMEBODY WHI REALLY CARES FOR U that it would seriously be worth it
becuz i would cherish, honor and respect wat we share and wat we have
now i admit i have done my dirt in da past to but its not wats in my
past dat mattas its how i do now and today to make my future something
i can be proud of and not regret i believe dat if i give u my all dat u
u can give me ur all , i hate having these walls in between us and im not
stupid so yes i do feel like im bein pushed away but i guess its cuz da feelings
dat i have are so strong to da point were it just wont let me leave u alone regardless
of wat u may have said and da fact dat im even pouring out my emotions on facebook which
kinda now makes sem visisble to anyone who reads this should let u kno dat i can give 2 fucks
wat others may think becuz there not important. and if i gotta deal with ur random emotions
every now and den or if ur feelin guilty about somethin u may have done just trust me and open
yaself up to tell me cuz ur only hurtin yaself by frontin bout ya feeelins cuz i want u and i
kno u want me to much has been expressed by both sides for it not to be but please dont feel
offended by dis note cuz its only me just doin wat i do and dats expressing myself now we are
to different ppl u cant do wat i do and i cant do wat u do but dats wat we are here for each
other to help each other do wat we so called cant do or in other words like da song {Make Me Better}
so i have poured out my heart now whether u take da time read dis note and actually think about wat
i have expressed is up 2 dat somebody

MY HEart aNd sOul
april 14, 2007