.untitled*

Sometimes I wonder if people can ever fully right there wrongs . sometimes I'm sorry & I forgive you's aren't always good enough . The pain one caused is always a nagging thought that comes across your mind . Until you, let go of the pain . Get rid of the burden . I've thought before that all the pain I've endured - has been forgiven & forgotten - but truth be told ; it hasn't . Every time somethin happens within the same situations - I keep reminiscing on past times - the pain, feelings, & memories replay constantly until somethin else happens - & I lose sight of it .
I thought that once I said - I forgive you & I understand that your sorry - that if yu did the same thing ,it'd be all good - but the truth is ; sht gets 100 times worse . which is horrible . the love that I had for you as a person - is faded , never remainin' - cus I'm done maintainin this life that yu made for us .

2ndTICKET!!

wednesday was like - ugh ! a horrible day . seriously - I think I have the worst luck EVER !

the story ;;

I just recently got my license back & sht - so ya knw - I was happy as fck to be legal . so it was wednesday & me & my girls didn't have sht else to do, so we was chillin with some dudes . all we was doing was ridin' around smokin & wasting my fckn gas . lol - so these niqqas neva rode with me before & we needed to spice up the boring drive around durham - so my girl said take em on the roller coaster .

huh ? wht roller coater ??
- in hope valley farms - toward like MLK in the townhouse neighbors , there is this hill - like omgsh - its like the funniest sht ever to go on . wen I discovered it ; I went on tht sht like everyday .

anyways; so like weneva I go on that sht - I make sure no families are out or cars are around because I push around 40ish goin down it & its like a hill that goes down & has a dip in it so like the car lifts off the ground - CRAZY sht - but fun as hell .

so I had 5 people including me in my honda so we was packed in that btch & jess said we should go cus they had never been . so I agree & we pick a song & we ride . so coming dwn the hill - I prolly was pushing like 45 & my car lifts off the ground with tht sht . & then I see the cop car . man - I've been on this hill like 30 times before & they has NEVER been a cop anywhere around . I knew that he was gonna pull me over - so I pulled over & he pulled up behind me .

he comes to the window with his hands out & asks what was I thinking . sht - I was like man, I don't knw . he took my license & registration & took forever to come back & give me a citation for reckless driving . man on tht sht - it was my vechical was airborne . ): - that sounds so dangerous .

guess I learned my lesson . ):

-LCC*

-tongue piercing*

soooo ; like four days ago -- I got my tongue pierced . omgshhhhh - talk about painful sht . so like - I only did the sht cus I was pissed with my mom & I knew that she'd be pissed if I did it . but anywho - me & my btch went to dibbs so he could do it cus he did one of our other piercings . so like ; I knew that he didn't have the correct jewelry so we had to get our own. so my friend got her tongue pierced & they used a bar that was bigger then the usual jewelry that would be used . so I kinda knew that this sht wasn't gonna be right .
sooo -- we went & got the jew & went back to the place ; & my girl jess went first . because even tho it was my idea - I was scared as sht . lol . so she went & like he didn't give her no kind of warnin that he was about to stick the big ass needle through he tongue. then she was bleeding like crazyyyyy & then she was done . It was all so quick but oh so painful . gotdamn ; I swear after seeing her sht get done - I wanted to just bounce ; but we pinky promised - so I couldn't break that sht . so we started lookin at her sht & seen tht it wasn't straight . but I told her dnt wrry about it .

so I sat my ass in the chair & lettem' knw tht I was prolly gonna scream or cry . so I told him; he better put my sht straight . so he got damn stuck that needle thru my tongue & I screamed & I yanked my tongue back in my mouth - but that damn clamp was on it ; so it made it hurt even more - finally :: I let go & let him finish - but got damn ; I was in so much pain & there was a lot of fckn blood - EWWW it was gross . my poor tongue was feel horrible.

40 $$ & we bounce.


I get in the car & look in the mirror & it just wasn't right cus my tongue felt like it was about to fall off because the bar was so small . so I called twisted six- cus I knw they knw wht they are doing because they did my industrial & tragus piercings . so I was tryna to explain the problem & they ended up tellin me to just come in & see them - so we headed to twisted six .

wlk up in there & tlk to this lady & basically she said that - he fcked up us . BIG TIME ; so she said that I needed to remove that jewelry because if I didn't ; my tongue would swell up so much on top of the jewelry tht I'd have to have that sht SURGURICLY removed . -- I was bEYOND PiSSED . so then I ask can I but the jewelry that they use & put it in & she says yes & that they'll put it in for me .

so we go upstairs & he takes the sht out & blood is everywhere manee - so he tries to put there jewelry in & hotdamn - moreeeeeeee BLOOD . so he tells me - my best bet is to just let it heal & come back & let them do it because they knw how to do it right . so I'm pissed because I spend like gotdamn 50 ish $$ & didn't get nothing to show for it.

so me being the G that I am - wen I was sittin in my car - me & jess put the bars in twisted six gave us in ourselves . It didn't hurt that much - & it went in with no problem . it felt so much better then the sht tht dibbs did .

but the nxt day gotdamn - I was miserable . so I took that bullsht out & put in a bar that I had in my ear in my tongue & it was clean - so it relieved the pain bc it was bigger . but I still couldn't tlk right nor eat . it still was sooo painful .

so yesterday - that sht had to come out - the pain was still there & I couldn't stand it man . so I'm not sure if ima still get it redone later or not . but its not worth all the pain . I'm just crazy & wnted to do something crazy . so I did it - had it - & hated it .

dibbs fck'd me up tho - its cool tho ; tht sht is gon now . (: & I can tlk & eat like I wnt to . _(:

-LCC*

lifesucks!

boy oh boy oh boy ; people always say - dnt say yu hate yur life / or say its hard to deal with : bc yu never know wht the nxt persons life is like ;; sht true as hell bruhh .

people see me & think - aye ; she got it easy or sht cnt be tht hard for her. [honesty]- idntknw wht they say ; but they prolly think tht sht it better then how it really is. my smile & personality is something that I can make people think I'm the happiest girl in the world - & wht kills me - is the fact tht I'm really not.

if yu only knew the sht that went dwn . yu'd think of me as a fuckin superhero with the way I put up with this bullshit. I make it seem like I dnt have a care in the world , wen really I'm wondering when somethin else will happen .

I really wnt to keep it 100 ; but there is just some sht ; tht should be kept private & personal about me & my life : so ima keep it like that. but inside ; its killin me because all the emotions & feelings are bottled up - tightly sealed - never being opened . & thts how they are going to stay.

- LCC*

youlostone*

these last few days have been hell . like - I haven't even wrote a blog because I can even express how I fuckin feel in wrds. like - ugh !
basically my "best friend" - lmao at tht title; anyways - she wants to be "independent". funny thing is ; she says independent like I'm holding her back from sht. which is most def. not even true.

before I state the situation - or how I feel , let's be clear - this is MY BLOG - remind YOURSELF it says "& LC said..." - my thoughts' , opinions, & venting area. so if you get offended - oh muthafucking well !

so honestly in my opinion ; the [whole] situation is so muthafuckn BULLSHIT. honestly ! & wen I tell other people - not random people - but people that know both me & ol girl say its some BULLSHIT. like the whole shit started because of a dinner & me being her "best friend" didn't get invited ; remind you - she get invited everywhere with me & attends when she is invited - no matter the event. & then wen I txt yu , yu dnt respond which basically makes you look guilty as sht , like yu knw your in the wrong . the call the evening of the nxt day & try to carry convo like nthn was wrong . then ask wht I'm doing for the superbowl - & I say something with your friend that you ignore when she tries to chill or do anything with you & somehow you end up comin along. then she says - she talked to me - well said hey when I got in the car - which I NEVER even heard...& not talk to me the rest of the night ; then get pissed cus I write a blog about the sht & I call yu a btch. bein a "bestfriend" yu shoulda known me & that I was gon write about it. ANYWAYS - then say I "screw faced" you at school & call me a btch in the middle of the hall - like you lost your damn mind. THEN - I come to your house to talk to you & find out wht the fckin issue is & you really act like you lost it. THEN got the nerve to call me & tell me that you think we need to talk because its turning into something that it wasn't suppose to turn into ... THE FCK ? I just came to yo gotdamn house to tlk about the sht. THEN today - yu get in my front seat & tell meeh all these excuses. well excuse me - to me everything was a EXCUSE. "going off to college & having a job & my boyfriend & this music thing & tryna get A's in my classes, I'm just tryna to be independent" - THE FCK? I knw wht yu have to do - I was your "friend", I clearly knw all that sht -- & I dnt have nothin to do with that. got damn - I dnt need your rides - I dnt need anything from you - so dnt make it seem like I bother you or anything - because that's def. not the case. sht just real stupid. but aye - I'm done tlkn bout sht; yu dnt wnt to be my friend - but yu dnt wnt beef ?? sorry - but I'm just going to dislike your ass, because still to me - everything is an EXCUSE & FAKE.

once again - this is LC's blog. MY OPINIONS!! so whatever.

you lost one ; not me.

-LCC*

&another*

losing friends are like losing $$ - you might be pissed cus you think you need it . but then you realize ; there's more $$ in the streets. yu'll get more.

lately, I've been having some issues . [like always]- its funny how people change & get a lil bit of something & forget they started with nothing. - thts like the realest sht ever.

I swear - I had the best people in the world surrounding me - now it seems I only have 1. but that doesn't bother me at all. because one is all I need anyways.

but sht has jus been pissing me the fuck off . & I take steps to make sure that its just not me that's tripiing over sht. : I'll ask others opinions about the situation just to make sure I'm not over reacting . but this sht ; I've recently experienced is beyond fck'd up. & the funny sht is - I never woulda thought this btch woulda did some bullsht like this. but aye - it is wht it is I guess.

let me explain ; I dnt give a flyin' fck if yu have an issue with me - dnt call me ; be fake with me on the fone - then see me & act like yu dnt knw I'm even present when we are in the same muthafuckin place. esp being that your the stupid muthafucka tht caused the issues. & its funny how wen a dumb person knws they did something wrong / wasn't right doesn't wnt to bring attention to the fact tht they did something - instead pretend like sht is fine. but ya knw wht - all the [fakeness] isn't needed at all. stay wrapped up in your "happy" life - & ima just do me.

& I knw yur reading this sht (: - so uh ; hope ya like'd it .